Bella La Vita

SO my cousins are in town for the weekend … The following is both a written documentation of the dinner conversation that I had with my 12 year old boy cousin Aidan as well as an optimal example of 12 year old swag at it’s finest.

Aidan: “So I was dancing with this girl and she said she had to go to the bathroom and then 10 minutes later I found her in the corner of the gym just like talking to her friends.” … “She obviously didn’t know who I am” 

(Note: “she obviously didn’t know who I am” was said with great emphasis on the “who I am” … as if  aforementioned 12 year old girl had been aware of the rep. of who she was dancing with she would have thought twice before leaving and talking to friends.) 

Now if thats not raw swag … I don’t know what is. Prouda you little buddy, keep up the confidence.

I found this picture on my old back-up drive today. I think it was when I was first starting to learn photoshop and experimenting with different features during freshman year. At the time I probably thought I was the cats-pajamas for making something like this. 

… Now I honestly just have no idea how I feel about it. 

but it is supa weird. 

1. Kelsy is an indian word meaning “Big Village.
2. Giraffes are members of the Kelsy family
3. Kelsy can’t drink - she absorbs water from her surroundings by osmosis
4. Kelsy is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
5. Of the six men who made up the three-stooges, three of them were Kelsy
6. A full seven percent of Kelsy goes to the production of Guinness Beer
7. Kelsy has striped skin, not just striped fur
8. The plastic things on the end’s of shoelaces are called Kelsy
9. The only planet without a ring is Kelsy
10. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Kelsy
11. No word in the english language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or Kelsy
12. If you cut Kelsy in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have
13. Kelsy cannot be folded in half more than 7 times
14. Kelsy was originally green and actually contained cocaine
15. On a clear night you can hear Kelsy’s calls from over a mile away
16. On a full moon you actually weigh less than Kelsy
17. Kelsy, if kept in natural habitat can grow up to three times original size

Thanks :)

I know that title was a bold statement, and I’m sorry if you feel offended by it. 

The backstory to all this business is that my cat “Kitty” (as the family so affectionately calls her) legitimately hates my guts and on occasion most days I swear she has a vendetta against my lower legs as she is always trying claw me to shreds in that region. 

On the other hand aforementioned cat loves little sister Hannah: SO MUCH. They sleep together, eat together, groom each-other, tell secrets. its gross.

So one day amidst a flurry of creative-collage-action I took it upon myself to make a PSA poster about the dangers affiliated with “trusting cats” … which in my opinion is a huge problem in America today and totally worthy of the effort it took to make this collage (note:sarcasm)

All I ask is that every one be safe!

• Don’t keep a loaded gun in your child’s room
• Don’t try to pet untamed wolves
• Don’t harass young gang affiliated men
• and first and foremost DON’T trust your cat. 

Have a nice day!

sidenote: I left the poster on her bed so she would find it when she came home from school. I think she totally liked it because she screamed when she saw it. Message still hasn’t hit home though as “cat trusting” behavior still appears regularly amidst the family. 

better luck next time.

dontreadthispost: it’s supaboring.

I have always secretly wondered if I could french-braid my hair backwards. I was feeling motivated this evening during the nightly-news and decided I was up to the challenge. Something about Bruce Aune must inspire a self-destructive nerve within my sub-conscious. Anywho 15 minutes later I had successfully backwards-french-braided the crap out of my hair (see below for proof.) COME AT ME WORLD!!

exhibit a. 

exhibit b. 

The hard part about making this into any form of wearable-out-in-public hairstyle is that the weird ponytail braid that usually end’s up at the back of your head going down your neck … Now end’s up right between your eyebrows going down your nose. impractical at best.

O well … you know what they say “every brilliant genius backwards-braid has its flaws”.

(p.s. no-one has ever said that)

Today was uneventful but consisted of beautiful things.

I watched peter pan. I had forgotten how many statements were made in this movie that just straight up make my heart feel good.

• “Think of all the joy you’ll find, when you leave the world behind.”

• “Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you’ll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.” 

• “So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!” 

• “ill teach you to jump on the wind’s back.. and away we’ll go!” 

• “To love would be an awfully big adventure.” 

Saddest part of the movie:

Happiest part of the movie:

And there you have it.

OK OK OK I just need to get a couple things off my chest real quick!

1. I’m scared because someday when my children are old enough they will probably ask me what “Living in the 90’s” was like. Crap.

2. When I correctly guess if the door is “push” or “pull” its a great moment. No-one in history has ever made a great  entrance after incorrectly guessing the “push or pull” conundrum.

3. Overhearing a conversation held at a table-full of drunk adults is eerily similar to overhearing a conversation at the “kids table.”

4. I read somewhere that Ke$ha writes her own songs … and now I know why they’re so horrible.

4.5. Ke$ha sounds like stepping in dog poop feels. 

5. This weekend was awesome. All the nights have blurred together in my mind into a puddle of warm feelings and fuzzy happy moments.

Most notable include:

> Going to Badowers on Ingersoll clothing line opening in DesMoines with Roxie and Anna! Beingsnazzy grownups eating ALL of the noodle/olive appetizers was so very great and neat.

> Adventure Time on Saturday was just too good. “Dear Dolphin” and calling
Michaela my baby squirrel every ten minutes were notable moments.
… As was Anna defending Dave Matthew’s band like a boss.
… As was watching the reflection in Lake Laverne & talking about star wars.
… As was climbing Michaelas favorite tree.
    Need I say more?

>  holy chow. I just remembered we went to this huge campustown property management announcement & got free food and sat the whole thing out like total Stoop Kids. I was so happy. stooping with my friends. (Insert warm fuzzy feelings.)

> Thursday night I got to see Tommy Palos!! Who is a dear-old friend of mine and Sunday night Kevin&Nicole cooked for me and I gained 10 lbs. 5lbs of food and 5lbs of love in my heart which grew two sizes that day grinch-style. and crap. I’ve reached the part in the blogpost/night where I stop making sense. 

ugh. one more thing. It’s totally fall. Iowa Winter is coming. Pumpkin Spice Latte’s are the only thing that have stopped me from dropping my toaster in the bathtub. Pumpkin spice lattes = I choose life.

A. I really like helping people. 

B. I read a quote by the brilliant author snooki today (insert sarcastic smirk) that went a little something like this: “Yea, people get sad and then they see how disappointing other peoples lives are and they feel better” 

C. I have decided to compile a list of disappointing things that have happened to me this week as a public service to any individual reading this blog who wants to feel better about themselves.

(plus as previously mentioned I have a thing for lists.)

Exhibit A: on Sunday I got a whiff of a Rome smell, and immediately took it as a sign from god to return to the Holy Roman Empire and live a happy life as a gypsy selling my tears under the bridge in testaccio … 5 seconds later I realized the smell was just my cat.

Exhibit B: I thought I was making progress on the ever daunting task of: “getting the family cat to like me”. A courtship that has been in progress for months now  since me and the cat first met. Basically we shared two and a half bite free petting sessions and I really thought things were looking up … then this morning she clawed the shit out of my ankle while I was innocently trying to make some toast. (back to square one)

Exhibit C: Back in the days when Roxie & Myself lived in Rome we would constantly be barraged by swarms of Italian men who wanted to sweep us away on their vespas and paint us naked in their villas overlooking the vatican … Last tuesday I tried to hit on the dorky paper boy out in front of my house and his response was (and I quote) “Umm, Do you have allergies?” … WTF my friends. W. T. F.

So there you have it. Hope your day feels just a bit brighter. Don’t ever say I didn’t “give back.” And if you still don’t feel any better there’s always this image:

aweeeeeeeee!

Oh Hai.
I’ve made the decision to start-up my personal blog again. 
I started this thing to document my cool glamorous life as an American youth traveling europe, causing ruckus, breaking rules, and taking names.

… Now I live in Iowa.

Perhaps that little intro can explain why my first post is a collage I made on a recent rainy day entitled: Things I Miss About Europe.

enjoy…

Mostly I’m starting up again for these reasons:

• Posting weird things I make in my free time such as aforementioned europecollagebook.
• Rambling on aimlessly about day-to-day silliness 
• Tumblr is sexy
• So I can make stupid lists
• further silliness
• I’m bored

Disclaimer: I can neither confirm nor deny that this blog will be interesting in any way whatsoever. So sue me.

So a month has passed since the epic times that have come to be known as me and roxannes Paris adventure. No matter what I type in this post I don’t believe that there are english (or french!) words in existence that can express the ferociousness of the good vibes embedded into all aspects of this weekend.

Nevertheless, I woke up this morning and said to myself “Kelsy it is time! … no more excuses … you must write to the masses and tell them of Paris!” (Or mayyybe Hannah just subtly hinted at the fact that it had been far too long since I updated this thing… either way….)

so without further adue (sp?) ….. drum roll? ….. chyeaa

Posty post presents: Roaxanne and Kelsys Paris Adventure!!

Part 1 : sex and the city :

The adventure beagn in Milan. Vibes were nothing but positive and the skies were clear when we we hopped on a plane to charles de gual airport in Paris France. Me and Roxie were all dressed up for the night since we weren’t getting in till 11:30 placing us at the opportune moment to skip the boredom of responsibility and go straight out into the Parisian Nightlife! naturally we made friends with the adorable stewardess who then proceeded to allow us to sit in the back area of the plane where we would have all this extra space to ourselves … she then brought out free white wine for us. 

After roxie was done hitting on the stewardess we both decided that we had hit our coolness peak. Because well the thing of it is … is that sipping white wine in our own section of the airplane dressed in sexy outfits on our way to paris to meet up with french boys and dance the night away made us feel like we were on an episode of sex and the city … and yea thats when I cool-peaked … I’ll basically never be as cool as I was in that moment ever ever again. and I’m okay with that.

Oh you might have noticed that I slipped in the fact that we were meeting up with french boys …. if you did catch that well, clever you. I suppose you were wondering how we knew french boys …  hmm. Long story short is we met them in Barcelona … additional cool points, oui? … call me … 

so Anyways we show up in Paris … we wait out front, the entire time making bets on whether or not the french boys will come or if we will have to take a cab.

I Won the bet :)

Jordan and Jeremie the adorable french boys who speak barely any english arrive just minutes later and literally sweep us off our feet. They are possibly the two most precious hosts in all of europe. They take us to an American style Pub in downtown Paris because they want us to feel at home (awesomeness/preciousness points awarded to the french) on the way we listen to Jordan’s radio … wonder-wall comes on and Roxie and I practically scream the line “There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how” laughing absurdly loudly at our own cleverness (in regards to the correlation between the lyrics and our present circumstances) while the confused french boys give us strange looks from the front of the car. As we pass the champs elysees and get our first look at the arc de triumph Gangsters Paradise is literally blaring out of the speakers and cultural barriers are being broken left and right. 

Part 2 : Alors on Danse : 

The next day Jordan literally charms the crap out of us and shows us around all of paris. Notre Dame, The Eiffel Tower, Walking around the city honestly caused me to pee my pants in excitement on several occasions (you know how I roll.) We sip lattes atop the eifel towa and BAm outta no where it starts SPARKLING like Edward Cullen! Holy Crap! Win.

Exhibit A: 

Exhibit B: 

Exhibit C:

Smiles for miles my friends.

Later on we mosey over to Jordan’s friend Arthur’s house in Montmarte. 

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I personally believe roxanne and I would have made good anthropologists.

Pretty much its Rox, Myself, Jordan, Jeremie, Arthur, Stephen, and Charlie all sitting around the table playing music and comparing cultures, talking about stereotypes … (Jordan continues to be precious by making us all pizzas … sheesh wuts new.) Ima take a quote from Roxies blog because I think she put it real nicely into words about these frienchips. (ah! see what I did there? its a combo of the word “french” and “friendship” … uhh … kay sry im done)

“ We just did whatever they were doing and it was so insane to see similarities and differences between their college life in France and ours in the states. They love hanging out and partying like us and school just as much. They call the typical American boy the “Brian” which I thought was hilarious. Very similar to what we call the “Chad” they kept doing impressions of what they thought America was like n they were like “hey Brian! You going to the game tonight? Cool (throwing a football) lets go party and chug beers yeah right on bro” …I was like yeah that’s preettty much 100% correct. They were asking us what we thought French guys would be like and we go ummm (feeling bad because it was exactly how they were) and they were like “what ? striped shirts and eating cheese?”…And they looked down and were doing that exactly. It was so funny. They were just like our guy friends back home and it was just really refreshing compared to creepy Italian guys who want to steal my gypsy tears on their vespas.”

I ate like the entire pizza (whoops) and we’re about to hit the town of Paris classy as ever and Arthur’s like “ah yes you american gurls wud liek to take look out ze window before we danse you will enjoi ze lovely view!” and were like okeyy whatevs popin our heads out the window onto the balcony and BAm oops guess wuts right across the street??!? the Moulin Rouge!! (this is the point in the tale when the french friends awesomeness/preciousness points skyrocket and I completely loose track of how lucky I am) oh and btw Jordan picks this moment to tell us that his older sister actually dances at the Moulin Rouge on the reg….  yea uhh she just happens to be a professional french dancer in paris … I would add awesomeness points onto the tally but as I had just moments ago lost track I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. 

We danse the night away with the boys at an upscale club called REX … Don’t stop dancing till the break of dawn and end the night with crepes in hand watching the sunrise. I got a ham and cheese crepe … it was amazing. we explained to the french boys that the word crepe sounds like the word crap … and yes, its official, no matter what country your in boys always fall for poop jokes… slightly reassuring isn’t it?

Part 3 : Roxie and Kelsy forget how to speak english :

SOoo the next day Jordan and Jeremie take us out shopping on the champs elysees were like walking into Louis Vutton and Jeremies like “soo what do you want?” ahaha yeaa the song International players anthem somehow got stuck in my head … WeiRd?!? 

We met up with Arthur and the three of them took us up onto the hill of MontMarte where oh suprise suprise theres a beautiful white castle and a hilltop view overlooking the city of Paris. (I think I still have bruises on my arm from the amount of times I pinched myself that night to make sure i wasnt dreaming.)

We go get baguettes and cheese at a cool bar nearby and have a beer while watching the soccer game with them … they all rep the city of Nemes so naturally  I clapped when the red jerseys did something good we cheered for the southern French soccer team. Arthur is literally brilliant he’s like speaking to us in english and then turning and speaking to Jeremie in french then like out of nowhere he realizes there’s a piano behind him and without hesitation starts playing Handels Messiah … er doesn’t make sense me and Roxie were srsly like “whooo are you!?!?” We end the night with plans for them to visit us in America and empty promises of road trips across the US in Roxie’s station-wagon that doesn’t exist. 

By the end of the weekend me and Roxie were so used to only talking to French boys/accents/language and speaking in like this broken english that we literally had forgotten how to speak english we like started talking to each other on the way to the airport and we were like “umm Du Jour … No? We go in airport now, ah yes vary excite, i would like a danse … I stand you?” haha srsly forgot the english language (again the sign of blossoming true anthropologists.) 

Jordan dropped us off at the airport like a shining gentleman and Kissed me goodbye said the proper farewells ;) 

I would like to tell you that on the way back Roxie and I relearned english and got our acts together but Im pretty sure it took us a full week to recuperate. It was a weekend that I will never forget and a super unique experience. I loved seeing Paris from the french peoples point of view and spending time completely enveloped in another culture. If I was given the change to go back I would do it in a heartbeat :)

Au Revoir and one love!

SHeeeesh Today we went to a tomb ok it was a church I was so confused there were skeletons and skulls everywhere and they made patterns with them like mosaics of hipbones and frescoes of vertebrae and attached them all over the walls. Brenda Jonez took us to it and it was called a bones church and the bones were from bodies of Italian soldiers that had fallen in the war. The monks gathered the bones and then they were like “Hey I have a great idea! Instead of burying these bones like normal people lets make decorationz out of them” I feel like maybe the economy was bad and they coudn’t afford any wallpap… ok thats silly but you know what?  I honestly have no idea why they thought that it was a good idea to hang these guys’ bones on the wall … what am I missing? does this make sense to anyone else?

irreguardless it was an extremely strange thing to see and I can now at least:

1. say “why as a matter of fact yes I have hung out in an inclosed space below a church decorated soley in skull motiffs.” and

2. see that the skull actually can be associated with christianity in some obscure way apparently … so catholics can now start shopping at hot-topic finally … yes? … its about time. 

hmm. Lets see… after the Bonez church I went and stood in front of the American Embassy in Rome for a bit … I sang the Star Spangled Banner all the way through at the top of my lungs (even tho Mikey got embarrased and stopped singing somewhere amidst the rockets red flare) 

Then Brenda Jones, knower of all things Roma, took us to the Hard-Rock Cafe for lunch. I had a HUGE cheeseburger with ranch (both of which I have been deprived of for months now) and I basically just died of happiness …. after I died of happiness they noticed that my hipbones were the just the perfect color and size to fill in this bare corner of the bonez church that was unfinished … ok no just kidding im still alive.

My apologiez that got a little rediculous. This post is only 90% true at this point I belive.
okeey till next time ciao!

Shout out to my sister nana and my brother glen!!

True story:

So a week ago today Roxie and myself get home from class just kickin it like usual. Get in the door and there’s like these crazy loud party beats coming out of our bed-room like rockin T-pain right and left so we open the door expecting Ariel to be in there practicing her dance moves or something like that.

we guessed wrong.

We seriously open the door to find a crew of PIGEONS straight posted-up in the middle of the room dancing right and left jumping on the beds, like trying on all of our shoes and pooping in them … I swear there was 2 hooking up in the bathroom. straight janky. 

When we walked in they all looked at each other like “ohh sheesh who called the authoritiez” and all fly out the window in a frenzy like shedding feathers and kickin b’s. roxie (brave-heart) goes in to get the “lovebirds”  (hahaha i love punz)  outta da banjo and I may or may not have accidentally gotten scared and shut the door behind her thus leaving her alone in there to fend for herself strategically cornering the lovebirds. Basically after they were all gone we had to clean up the poop/feathers/puke from all ova the place …. now I know how parentz feel. 

Rome is teaching me so many things.

P.S. Moral of the story is don’t leave you window open. 

Ok so this past week I peed my pants for like three dayz straight…  
This fact is significant because I generally only Pee my pants on special occasions when I am very especially excited … plz don’t judge me.

So the event behind all of this excitement was a three day intensive workshop with Primo Angeli.
 
(Lemme take a sec to give you the rundown.)
This Dude Design-God has made various Logos//Branding//Packaging Design for ohhh, idk, Liike: Coca-Cola, Guinness, Ben&Jerry’s, Hyatt Hotels, Intel, Nestle, Xerox, General Mills, Bank of America, AT&T, Banana Republic, Levi Strauss, and THE OLYMPICS … He’s kinda a big deal, yes?

Basically we:
• lived at the studio for 48 hours
• got to present to one of the most influential designers of our generation
• collaborated on the rebranding of an Italian Product 
• talked one-on-one and learned straight from the Primo himself.  

I loved this so much. I am such a happy camper.

(a pic of me showing Primo my ideas)

Ch-Ch-Check it out-  the finished branding and packaging product my group produced for Venchi Choccolato Italiano. 

Here is the group with Primo and his wifey. 

ANNNDD FINALYY »> DRUMMM ROLLLLLL PLZZZ »» 

ajhgasghfdgslfh io;g erioghausdhfjhsd …. yes … its me and Primo. 
I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said that as a designer, I can now die happy. 
Design Dork? Always.  

So I know your all dying to know maybe possibly wondering … what is Kelsy’s daily life like living in Rome? Well, I don’t want to disappoint anyone, but to be completely honest life in Rome is exactly the same as my life back in America. Mundane, normal, bland, blah, everyday tasks and things and occurrences. Seriously, nothing exciting or different at all.

As proof of this, I have compiled a normal daily schedule of my life here in rome:

8:00  

Wake up and jump on Roxie, Drink some coffee and draw on the walls for a bit

9:00  

Go visit the Cats at Cat Sanctuary by the ruins  … Eat some Cat Pizza, pet some kittehs, meow at the homeless people. 

10:00 

Stop by the Campo-De-Fiori to harass the tourists and buy a million tomatoes. Hit on the trail mix vedor with the funny pantz. 

11:00 Be Productive … hahahahahahaha just kidding. 

11:00 

Lunch time at cafffe cameron with Mikey Downs who orders everything in fluent italian before turning and punching me in the stomach becuz he is a violent friend and thats just the way he expresses his love for me.

1:00 

Time to go hang out with the old people in our courtyard! The old man who is a painter generally draws us for a couple of hours while we drink wine and pet cats.

3:00

Run around like gypsies for a bit, Maybe visit the man in the tent with the two legged dog past the bridge. 

5:00 

Go to Via Del Corso and spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need. Buy 5 leotards, because we will need those for dancing on the street in Trestevere with the egyptians on friday.

7:00

Cook dinner for Roxie … (put as many ingredients as possible on like 4 noodles and call it Italian cooking.)

9:00 

Run across the courtyard with Roxie to visit our American friends.
Have a beer on the Balcony.
Trips to the Kebab store.
Top Secret Missions that I cannot blog about.
RomeRage (R&R) … extra on the Janky.

6:00(am)

Come home watch TV with our beds pushed together, eat a jar of Nutella and go to bed.

Firstly, I would like to apologize to my little sister and mother for the innaprops title. 

That being said … the Gang and I had another fully eventful big fat Italian weekend. 

We journeyed by bus to the small town of nuns and cats called Assisi. If you have never heard of St. Francis of Assisi, you probably live under a rock, and for your information he was a famous Catholic Saint in the good ol ‘days. We went to his crib Church to see the paintings by Giotto who is the cats pajamas (see fig.1.) when it comes to color, for reals. 

fig.1. the cats pajamas

So we were hanging around the church doing sketches and other hood-rat stuff and every time someone even made like even the smallest attempt to reach for their camera a creepy voice came over the intercom and wuz like “noooo fotozzz.” Scary … Assisi means buisness about the photodocumentation … thankfully I am so very talented and my sketches look even better than pictures I didn’t really have my hopes up anyways so I left without my feelings hurt too bad by the scary voice of god … aka: the intercom men.

After those Assisi shenanigans we got back to roma all safe and sound and decided immediately that what we needed to do was risk our lives via venturing out to experience the Italian night-life.  

Roxanne and I were really on the ball and also decided this was an opertune moment to run out into the courtyard in search of fellow americans … who we knew existed but had remained mystery humans up untill this point. Mission success. After a good 15 minutes of sprinting around the courtyard yelling “AMMERICANSSSSSS!?!?!?!??” we found some cool architecture kidz that rep the east coast. 

The night began and ended with escapades on the terrace. The in-between times Involved: friendship, chit-chats about the land of the free and the home of the brave, adventures to Trastevere, Various amazing dance moves that made the italians impressed with us annoyed, Club Land central aka: Pisstachio aka:Testacchio (doesn’t make sense.) and too many other random shenanigans to even write down. We got home around 7am … good vibes. 

Amidst the friendship and fun my poor roomie Dana lost her purse … sad times. No worries though it was recovered the next day when an 80 year old man found it discarded in the courtyard and started wearing it around on his wrist lookin like a model. (My theory is that Dana threw her purse off of the terrace in a 5am frantic fit of roman happiness.) …. ( I would also like to take this moment to point out  that all substantial clues and evidence support my theory … gimme a scooby snak.) 

Either way at the end of the day rome is awesome and this post is getting too long. 

CIAO

1. Rome has a belly button. (its an innie)

2. I poked it today.

3. Our art history teacher = killin it:

She has a PHD, she wears heels on the cobblestone erreday (girl power), She lived in LA and has a sleeve of ill tats, she’s married to an Italian dude and done excavation in the Roman Forum (with Indiana Jonez.)  AND she brings us cookies … Is this Heaven?

Story time!

So back on the subject of Rome’s belly button. Its a huge hole in the center of rome and every city and monument in Italy is measured out in distance as to how far away it is from the belly button which ancient romans believed to be the center of the universe (yea … they were as pretentious as a bunch of hipsters.)

Anywho the story is that the important public speaking space for all of rome was located directly above the belly button of rome. And back in the day there was a man named marc anthony who made a huge blacklist of all of the public enemies in rome and killed them one by one in insanely brutal ways. Any-who one of the celebrities back then was named Cicero and he was very famous with the people for speaking out on the speaking space above the belly button and telling the truth to the citizens of Rome. Well sadly, he was on Marc anthony’s blacklist (aka: he was a goner.) Marc had him killed and has his head and his hands cut off (He cut this stuff specifically because the head and hands were super important symbols of communication for the Romans.) Well, the next morning when everyone gathered to hear Cicero speak, all they found was his dimembered head and hands sitting atop the podium in the center of the universe (aka: as aforementioned: Rome’s Belly Button) Barbaric stuff right?

I love listening to the old stories about places and imagining actually being there, I mean, people were literally so terrified when this stuff happened that they peed their pants and barfed and cried! and additionally, if this short story only served to bore you … look on the bright side dewds, at least now you have a story you can tell to grown-ups that will make you sound intelligent and worldy right? I mean why do you think I even put this story up? I have to at least seem like im learning stuff over here. haha. ok this is getting silly.

I will leave you all with this lovely photo of Dana and myself pointing to our belly-buttons and standing in front of Romes belly-button … I know right? like could we get any cleverer? …. I think not.

Ciao Amici

Cinque Terre directly translates to: rad hoppin recreational area 5 towns. kay so the rundown is that there are 5 small cities on a cliff-side that are all connected by a hiking trail and surrounded by the Mediterranean. 

We went there.

duh.

It was Roxanne, Taylor, Megan, Dana, Ryan and Yours Truly

We got there by train and got to sit by this awesome italian hottie in the traincar :) the only problem was that he was 80 years old and only had 2 teeth and loved to fart even more than I do. It was fun to watch him hit on Taylor and also nice to have someone to blame my farts on, good vibes. 

We got there and hit the beach which was a rock beach aka:no sand. If the no sand part confuses you thats ok, I was confused at first too. Then we went out to eat sea-food which kicks butt in cinque, cuz they literally catch it with their bare hands right in the backyard b4 cooking it up and serving it to you, more good vibes. 

The next day we hiked our buttttts off and it felt awesome! all I had wuz my loafers so I was hiking-in-style and everyone laughed at me was jealous. The hike lasted  6 hours and was probably one of the most worth-while experiences I have had in my entire life. The views were gorgeous and I pretended that I was a Billy Goat and I lived on the side of the mountain and hung out with mountain-kitties all day. At the end of the hike we all swam out to a cove and jumped off the cliffs. aka: we went cliff diving. It was so scary and fun and I felt like a million bucks splashing into the water/avoiding the jellyfish.

Later onn we took a train back and ate more unbelievably fresh sea-food, I had lobster ravioli and peed my pantz cuz it was so good. 

The next day was our last day in cique so me and roxie decided to lay out on the rocks and watch the boats glide by and love life. Our friends decided hiking for 6 hours across a rugged terrain up mountains wasn’t enought physical activity for a 24hour long period so they went canoeing … they vere vikings and seized the day and made me and roxie poop our pants laughing when they came around the river bend in front of where we were laying out… with their guns blazing. I was proud of them for showing the Italians that not all americans are lazy and fat … additional good vibes.

weekend status: Great Success!

Mind: Blown

Energy: Gone

Bucket List: Tipped

Legs: Muscly

Vibes: Good

Educational info time. 

Here are the rules of Barcelona

1. Draw as much attention to yourself as possible.
2. Clap your hands and pretend you know all of the words
3. Don’t sleep
4. Yell and dance … a lot.
5. Draw as much attention to yourself as possible!!

Here are the rules of Rome

1. Respect
2. Don’t act like a stupid american
3. Literally copy what everyone else is doing so as not to stand out and look like a stupid american.
4. When in Rome, do as the Romans

as you can see Barcelona and Rome are different. 

…

Ok no but seriously I’m so glad I am here. being in Barcelona felt a lot like being in New York or LA … I mean this is A WHOLE DIFFERENT WORLD and thats a good thing.

I literally will be adapting to a new culture and living my life in a way that I haven’t even learned yet (or even imagined for that matter). Its going to be a lot of work and thats why its great. I mean, it isn’t supposed to be easy right?

We flew into Fiumicino Airport in Roma early tuesday morning and immediately hopped into a cab with a goofy dude who kept trying to race people. At my first sight of the city I could tell that this was where I was supposed to be … pretty much this included me crying my eyes out the minute I saw the holy roman empire and then composing myself just in time to get dropped off at my new pad.

Our apartment is ballin outta control!! There are 9 of us in it. Me, Roxie, Ariel and Natalie are in the four person room and we have a gorgeous view of the tiber island from our two huge arched windows … LOVE. The rest of the roomies are beautiful and smart and awesome and the place is huge and Im just as happy as a pea in a pod. 

Best Semester ever includes:

Art History: Totally rad class because we actually walk around and go check out the art in person. Its like “OK students heres the pantheon, over there is Michaelangelo, study that for next week” This class basically exists to make me sound feel all smart and worldly.

Mixed Media: Brenda Jonez is my numba one source of all things Rome. Oh and she is also our mixed media teacher. Needless to say she rocks and I will return to the states with macaroni collages galore.

Adv. Typography: Lovin typography, good vibes, first project is kewl, nuff said.

Identity Development: Im doing a branding and identity system for the Pantheon … AKA: watch out Marcus Agrippa I’ma bout to pimp yo crib.

YAY ROME.

Wednesday

Said goodbye to America.

Thursday

OK first of all the title of this post is a lie because I was only in Madrid for like 10 minutes to do customs … there I said it.

About an hour later we got into Barcelona smoothly, rode the bus, then the subway, then almost hopped into a taxi when we realized that our Hostel was right across the street … whoops.

BARCELONA=Love at first site.

I mean, Holy-buckets, The minute we started walking around it was like BAm there were beautiful things/places/humans/buildings errewhere. 

Needless to say we didn’t sleep. I haven’t quite figured it out yet but I think there is something in the water, air, atmosphere that is just so full of excitement … the very last thing on our minds was sleeping. or even eating for that matter. 

Thursday night we went to Roxie’s club. it was called Roxy (they spelled it wrong) it was a lot of fun to dance around and be goofy in a country where nobody knew our names. 

Friday

Friday we were pooped from all the travel and walked down Las Ramblas to spend a day at the beach with some awesome girls from our hostel Christine and Kristina (from Denmark.) 

The beach made me pee my pants it was so pretty!! I must also note that there were in-fact a few Like 40 topless ladies and naked men at this particular beach which was kinda different. No worries though, we embraced the cultural difference with open arms awkward side-glances, and an A for effort in attempting to be mature.

Friday night may have been one of the BEST NIGHTS OF MY LIFE. We went to the area surrounding the beach to experience the Barcelona nightlife. So many of the clubs had huge covers/we started to get sad. Then we bumbled upon the best place eva and all was right with the world once again. The best place ever doesn’t even have a name It’s just a little patio right on the beach with amazing people and lots of dancing. LOVE. We danced the night away because (as aforementioned) nobody sleeps in barcelona. Around 5am the club closed and we went and sat on the beach with our new friends from Turkey. Rox and I met some really cool americans from philly that basically went to High-School with the Always Sunny cast (ok it was just mac, but still) …. of course, meeting americans called for an impromptu swim in the Mediterranean, which we enjoyed quite thoroughly. 

Saturday

Gaudi adveture day numero uno!! Took a 3 hour hike around Parc Guell in B town. Still hadn’t slept at this point but like I said we were energizer bunnies so we just kept goin (too cheesy??)

Anywho heres some video footage of the whole buisness.

Not much of a video ill admit, but hey I try. (better videos to come.)

Saturday night we still hadn’t slept so naturally we wanted to go back to our amazing dancing patio on the beach again for another lovely adventure. This night a huge breakdancing competition broke out outta nowhere (Im basically sure Allison started it) and these kidz had straight talent. Breakdancing happened for what seemed like hours and we had front row seats to some of the craziest moves Spain has to offer. I will admit I made a friend from france (Jordan) who was in the competition and I was rooting for him the whole time, he kicked butt. 

Naturally we finished the night off with a 6 am beach visit and sat up in the lifeguard chairs to watch the sunrise before heading back to the hostel. this time we even took a nap when we got home.

Sunday

Sunday/funday arrived and more Gaudi and friendship was in-store. This time we visited La Sagrada Familia, a pre world-war Gaudi temple that has been under construction for 130+ years! This guy was brilliant. Just viewing the structure from the outside was breathtaking. And walking inside was life-changing. It was definitely a moment where we all had to stop and take a huge breath and realize how lucky we are to be on this great adventure. I can’t began to describe the beauty, detail and immense greatness packed into each and every detailed inch of this building … so photos probobly wont do it much justice either.

But just in case…

After I literally cried over how beautiful the church was, and got 3 million tackytouristy photos in front of it … we all decided it was time to eat so we got some paella at a goofy indian restaurant where we could sit outside and enjoy the view. 

Monday

Monday was the last day we could spend in B-town and we all needed to chillll out which called for beach day numero dos. We made many friends on the beach including a talented man carrying donuts on his head + a middle-aged/middle-eastern guy that insisted Roxie purchase his Hello Kitty henna tattoo. Friendships were lost and hearts were broken when he finally gave up and walked away leaving Roxie henna-less. Sad times. But the day was beautiful and we all got sunburns and 8 hours later packed up our things and said “peace out spain … gotta get on a plane.”

skratch that. 

actually me and Roxie returned to the beach that night… because well, you see … we didn’t have to leave for the airport until 4 am. And we decided that instead of being well-rested what we really needed was to go to the white party being held at the supa exclusive club Opiummar (free cover! how could you pass that up?) and then take a taxi back just in time for our 4 am flight plans.

It actually ended up being a genious idea because we saw the famous BRAZILIAN soccer player RONALDINHO!! at the club! wuuzzup now midwestern friends? bet you never saw him out-n-about!! O.K. so basically I was just sitting across the club watching him in the vip with his ladies and body-guards … but in my imagination me and Ronaldinho were definitely hanging out and having a great time.

The best journey of my life ended with a rushed trip to the airpot and a aeroplain to Rome. Good Times.